One…Two…Three…Jump

There are no big enough words to describe how I am feeling.  It is as if I am standing on the edge of a cliff, waiting to jump off and plunge myself into deep water.  If you have ever jumped off of a cliff into water, then you know that your mind is balancing a very tricky equation.  ”I’m gonna do it, I’m gonna do it!  One…two…three-I can’t,” are the thoughts that usually occur in one’s mind at the edge.  It’s the tug-of-war debate of jumping or not.  I want to jump.  All my friends are doing it, and most of them are already in the water.  Some of them are yelling at me from the water.  ”Just do it, Bay!  Come on, jump!”  Lots of them count for me as if their counting will persuade me to jump.  Only I can decide to actually jump.  But what if I jump?  I can’t change my mind and retreat back to the safe rock.  But if I do jump then I get to experience the thrill of stepping out into the unknown, and from there, jumping off again is easy.  So here I stand, out on the farthest edge, preparing to jump.  My pulse is higher than normal and my palms are sweaty.  I am constantly peering over the edge and glimpsing at what is beneath me.  It’s the surface of the water that makes me confident, but it’s not knowing what is beneath the surface that makes me curious and hopeful.  Here we go.    ”One…Two…Three…jump.”

Pharaoh Pharaoh Oh Baby Let My People Go UHH Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah!

The story of Moses shows us numerous characters of God, and I have been so amazed at how a story you’ve heard since Sunday school, can all of a sudden posses a new meaning.  God heard the cries of his people and in their misery chose to rescue them.  His desire was not for them to suffer, and so he chose Moses; a stuttering, stammering, shepherd to lead the Israelites out of Egypt.  I learned today that Moses was around 80 years old when God called him to lead his people.  It’s amazing that God chose an 80 year old man with a speech impediment.  God’s calling on Moses was so much higher than his own fear and failure.  God’s commitment to redeem the Israelites was not for their sake, but for his, so that he may receive the glory.  ”In your unfailing love you will lead the people you have redeemed.  In your strength you will guide them to your holy dwelling.”  (Exodus 15:13)  He turned rivers into blood, set ablaze bushes, and plagued the nation of Egypt to prove his relentless love.  God chose to harden Pharaoh’s heart so that he could show off his power.  ”But I have raised you up for this very purpose, that I might show you my power and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth.”  (Exodus 9:15)  God knew what he was doing the entire time, the strikes against Egypt were not a spur-of-the-moment ordeal.  My God is a wild God, and when he does something, he does it well!  I loved reading about the heart of Moses, that he didn’t question God our doubt God, especially when God chose to harden Pharaoh’s heart.  God could have easily “un-harden” his heart and go without plagues and boils, and Moses could have easily chose to ask God to speed things up or to stop striking the nation of Egypt, but he didn’t.  He obeyed and with a good attitude chose to trust God.

The story of Moses also revealed to me how much the Father takes care of his children.  Not only did God lead Moses and his people out of Egypt, but he fought for them.  Moses answered to the people, “Do not be afraid.  Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today.  The Egyptians you see today you will never see again.  The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.”  (Exodus 14:13)  I think that so often we come across hardships and trials and we feel like we have to fight, fight, fight.  There are certainly times when God calls us into spiritual warfare, but there are also times when He and the body of Christ will fight for us.  Sometimes we fight so much that we become weak and vulnerable, but God will fight for us, and we need only to be still.  God directed every step and every word that came out of Moses’ mouth, and he’ll do the same for us.  In the form of a cloud and  in the form of a pillar of fire, the Lord went ahead of the Israelites, guiding them.  ”Neither the pillar of cloud by day nor the pillar of fire by night left its place in front of the people.”  (Exodus 13:21)  We serve an all-knowing God, and a God that is not intimidated by our enemies.  He proves his love for us, and he takes care of his children by guiding them, and preparing the way for them.  God called his children out of Egypt, similarly to a game of hide and seek.  I imagined God saying, “Come find me, children.” His desire was to be with them, and though they were afraid, the Israelites obeyed and followed Moses into the unknown.  God will call us into our very own Red Sea, but he prepares a way for us, he directs our path, and he fights for us when we are weak.  His calling for us is so much greater than out fears and failures.

as deep meets deep

i’ve traveled from Paris, to London, to Dublin, to New york City, to Denver, to Geneva, to Los Angeles, to San Fransisco, but no major city compares to places I go with you.  Your love for me is endless.  As deep meets deep like the ocean meets the sky, your love is greater.  Everyday I explore a new secret place with you.  You meet me in gardens, on docks, next to waterfalls, in coffee shops, and we discuss things.  you love me, with love undeserving.  you listen and you speak perfect words.  you’re love is the horizon, constant and steady.  and nothing compares to the life you have breathed into me, and the love you have given me.

see sufjan in concert…CHECK!

here are a couple of pictures from the sufjan stevens concert.  Bri, Parker, Dillon, and I got the privilege of being entertained by one of our all time favorite musicians at the paramount theater.  For all of us, Sufjan is an artist that we all greatly admire and this concert was literally a dream come true.  Although he played almost his entire new album, Age of Adz, he did not forget to play us timeless classics such as chicago, to be alone with you, and john wayne gacy jr.  What I loved about Sufjan was that he didn’t care what his audience thought.  During his 25 minute song, Impossible Soul, he changed from wearing a blinking visor, to neon orange kanye west glasses, to a monkey mask, then back to a visor.  Despite his diverse audience, he continued to dance and sing in his own world.  This experience was incredible and I am so greatful I get to check that off my list.

 

artful conception

For seventeen years he had been working on a painting, and before the paint hit the canvas he had intensely prepared and planned every intricate detail.  He knew every feature of the painting.  Every line, every shape, and every color was put there with purpose.  Often times when the artist would start a new section or continue a familiar piece, his idea would expand into a new design.  Perhaps that is what is going on now.

An entirely new design is being crafted into my heart.  God is my artist and I am but a simple canvas.  I can neither predict nor presume what elements or specification he decides to form in me.  Lately it feels as if he is taking the entire canvas and painting over cracked and dry areas.  Though sometimes I feel that the design he decides to create won’t match, and all I can do is trust.  It’s refreshing, these new arrangements.  I am excited to watch the artist unfold a new masterpiece.

sailboat slowly

please sail away with me because i never want to return.

i will wait on eternity’s shore for you to come and take me away.

this world is where i breathe but it’s not where i call home.

we could live a life of solitude together and i’ll trust in you.

i hope you wake up from your dream to see who i am.  i just want to see you awake.

you live in a telescope land, but i’ll still wait for you.

a movement of love

i always know that God is speaking to me, when he asks me to do something out of my human nature. a teenage girl on a budget saving for college would not normally give $10 to a homeless women, but when i felt such a burden to give to this hopeless women, i knew the driving force behind this was God. i didn’t know this force would be so.. sticky.

as i impatiently waited for our bus to leave boston market, i had no idea that the reason we were running behind, would change my outlook forever. during the desperation conference, ignite went to the boston market for dinner. before we entered the building, a lady inside was furious and swearing at the manager. being the incredible men of god they are, Rob Giles and Pastor J.D. immediately offered their prayer, but the angry women refused and continued to swear. she was so angry that she threw a potted plant at Rob as he tried to calm her down. little did we know, the reason for this women’s anger, was that she had parked in a non-parking zone. when she refused to move her car, the manager of boston market had it towed. come to find out, this lady lived in her car. everything she had was towed and she was left with nothing.

instead of ignoring her problems, J.D. took this as an opportunity to extend the hand of jesus, and he took up an offering from his students to pay for her to get her home back. ignite student ministries was able to raise over $300, more than enough to get this women’s car back. i watched as the manager weeped, in awe that teenagers would care to help a stranger. i watched as jame and rob prayed over this women, and i watched as a seed was planted in the life of her. i watched jesus on earth again.

in this moment, my heart was fueled to begin more of these action. to model the heart of jesus to those who haven’t seen it. it’s one thing to experience the love of christ, but it’s another to give the love of christ. i don’t want to walk by the hopeless and think that it’s someone else’s problem. i want to be a light in the darkness, and bring back life into the spiritually dead.

“i think so often believers are waiting on a move of God, when God is waiting on a move of man. we are realizing now more than ever that God’s love and power is inside us. we have what we need to turn this planet upside down. we just need to act.” -Jon Egan.

we have all that we need. we just need to act. let’s start a movement of love

the big apple

some pictures from new york city

airport

the airport, for some, is perhaps the most unpleasant experience, but I have found that the airport is actually quite pleasant. today, I sit at gate C38, waiting to board flight 136 to New York City. sitting next to me is a man in his late twenties reading, “Bridge For Dummies.” Ahead of me a very…large southern women tripped walking off of the moving walkway. I couldn’t help but laugh as everyone else crowded around her asking if she was okay, but in my defense, she was huge…and it was hilarious.

I think what I love most about airports is the people. for example, tobias funke was definitely in front of me walking through security. Layered from head to toe in denim, a thickly mustache gripping his lip, a perfectly proportioned bald spot, and to top it off…Velcro sandals with wool socks, yes, this indeed was tobias in the flesh and he was standing right in front of me. I could only pray he was wearing his “never-nude” shorts underneath. what’s not to love about the people you see roaming this world? From the sheik businessmen to the overweight, KFC eating, wolf shirt wearing men, the airport is full of unique gems. Enough about men, let’s review women. One of my personal favorites are the women who dress up to sit for 3 hours. Most people would chose to dress comfortably to make a flight more enjoyable, but not some women. My idea of comfy is flip-flops…not so much 6 inch heels.

Another reason why I love airports is what is being sold and the price it is sold for. “Yes I’d like a bottled water please.” “Okay, that’ll be 7.95 plus tax that’ll be 11.04.” What? I like that every fast food restaurant is available to the common eater, even at 8 a.m. Believe it or not, people still eat panda express for breakfast. (if you haven’t noticed, this paragraph is sarcastic…i actually don’t like overpaying for water.) The newsstands are always worth visiting. Almost always there is a section designated for twilight, which is awesome to look at, and the people actually contemplating buying another Team Edward T-Shirt. Apart from the twilight section there is always the COLORADO section. I’m glad that the novelties that best represent our state are polished rocks, pink and white bronco jerseys, and elk poop chocolate.

People watching is priceless. Enough writing for now, time to board a plane to New York city! I’m so excited!

Until next time.

places to visit

i love traveling, and i have had the fortunate opportunity of starting my love for traveling at a young age.  Thus far (i just used “thus” in a sentence) these are the places i’ve been, and they were on my list of top places to visit.

places i’ve been:

England

Ireland

Wales

Mexico

France

Switzerland

British Virgin Islands

Bermuda

Places to go next:

New York City

Spain (Barcelona, Madrid, Granada)

Italy  (Venice, Florence, Rome, Milan, Naples, Verona mmm I want to go so bad!)

Australia (Sydney, Gold Coast)

Greece (Athens, Olympia)

Germany (Berlin, Munich, Frankfurt)

Alaska

The Nutherlands (Amsterdam)

Croatia (Dubrovnik and plitvice lake)

Tanzania

Chile

Argentina (Patagonia)

I want to literally travel the world, and these are the places I want to for sure see before I die.  Hopefully my husband will be as much of a world traveler as I am…oh and have lots of money!